Many of us know Olive Garden’s slogan When You’re Here, You’re Family. Well, I recently put that to the test.
The tables were wooden and nice to sit at. The chairs were also comfortable. The view wasn’t anything special, but there was a pretty cool looking van in the Walmart parking lot that had flames on its sides.
I was immediately offered wine, and after admitting I was underage, refused wine. If you’re going to offer me wine, please don’t rescind your offer. It’s common courtesy.
The napkins were probably the highlight. They were cloth and worked really well at cleaning the windows. One waiter told me I didn’t have to do that, but I insisted. After all, I like a good, clear view of parking lots. Who doesn’t.
Finally, it was time to order. I went with the pizza. The menu said I could pick four toppings, so I chose half portions of eight toppings. There were only seven to choose from, though, so I made one up. “…and blorgaspork.”
"Sorry? What is blorgaspork?"
"That’s your job to know, now isn’t it."
After a reasonable wait, my food arrived. It was a really good meal, not exactly overpriced, but not exactly underpriced either. It was just priced.
My waiter soon arrived and asked me if I wanted dessert.
"Steve," I said, "Have a seat."
"I have this business idea. And while I’m here, and we’re family, I was hoping you could give me a loan."
Steve tried to laugh it off. Like it was some kind of joke. I was offended and he could tell. “Steve, this isn’t a joke.”
Steve looked a bit nervous. I grabbed his hands and pinned them to the table. “Are we family or not, Steve.”
"Not in the literal sense…" said Steve. I wasn’t going to let him reason his way out of this one.
"Look, Steve. I cleaned your windows. Family does that for each other. They clean each others’ windows. Now, don’t you think I deserve that loan? We’re family, Steve, we’re family."
Steve handed me 13 bucks. “Thanks, Steve.”
was voldemort a virgin
Imagine being the chick to do the frick frack with the Dark Lord Voldy.
TUMBLR DOT COM: WHERE WE CAN DISCUSS HAVING SEX WITH VOLDEMORT BUT WE CAN’T ACTUALLY SAY THE WORD SEX
doing the do with you know who
“this leaves men confused and unable to pigeonhole you. What they are forced to do instead is… take you seriously.”
Reblog every time
Wow nake me think
Can this get 200 Notes? :s
Whoever wrote this dialogue is a freakin’ genius
reblog and make a wish
this is my second time reblogging and my first wish came true so
i have to
i did this a few days ago and it also came true, i was freaked out like fuck
here goes nothing
well lets see
i remember a few months ago, wishing that my crush would like me back on this post
and now he’s my bf
..WISHING AGAIN. YAY
Not going to lie, I made a wish when I reblogged this this morning, and my wish came true an hour ago.
Hopefully this works….
this has worked every time