Follow me On Twitter though C; @LluviaaCristaal
officialunitedstates:

Many of us know Olive Garden’s slogan When You’re Here, You’re Family.  Well, I recently put that to the test.
The tables were wooden and nice to sit at.  The chairs were also comfortable.  The view wasn’t anything special, but there was a pretty cool looking van in the Walmart parking lot that had flames on its sides. 
I was immediately offered wine, and after admitting I was underage, refused wine.  If you’re going to offer me wine, please don’t rescind your offer.  It’s common courtesy.
The napkins were probably the highlight.  They were cloth and worked really well at cleaning the windows.  One waiter told me I didn’t have to do that, but I insisted.  After all, I like a good, clear view of parking lots.  Who doesn’t.
Finally, it was time to order.  I went with the pizza.  The menu said I could pick four toppings, so I chose half portions of eight toppings.  There were only seven to choose from, though, so I made one up.  “…and blorgaspork.”
"Sorry?  What is blorgaspork?"
"That’s your job to know, now isn’t it."
After a reasonable wait, my food arrived.  It was a really good meal, not exactly overpriced, but not exactly underpriced either.  It was just priced.
My waiter soon arrived and asked me if I wanted dessert. 
"Steve," I said, "Have a seat."
He did.
"I have this business idea.  And while I’m here, and we’re family, I was hoping you could give me a loan."
Steve tried to laugh it off.  Like it was some kind of joke.  I was offended and he could tell.  “Steve, this isn’t a joke.”
Steve looked a bit nervous.  I grabbed his hands and pinned them to the table.  “Are we family or not, Steve.”
"Not in the literal sense…" said Steve.  I wasn’t going to let him reason his way out of this one. 
"Look, Steve.  I cleaned your windows.  Family does that for each other.  They clean each others’ windows.  Now, don’t you think I deserve that loan?  We’re family, Steve, we’re family."
Steve handed me 13 bucks.  “Thanks, Steve.”
★★★☆☆

officialunitedstates:

Many of us know Olive Garden’s slogan When You’re Here, You’re Family.  Well, I recently put that to the test.

The tables were wooden and nice to sit at.  The chairs were also comfortable.  The view wasn’t anything special, but there was a pretty cool looking van in the Walmart parking lot that had flames on its sides. 

I was immediately offered wine, and after admitting I was underage, refused wine.  If you’re going to offer me wine, please don’t rescind your offer.  It’s common courtesy.

The napkins were probably the highlight.  They were cloth and worked really well at cleaning the windows.  One waiter told me I didn’t have to do that, but I insisted.  After all, I like a good, clear view of parking lots.  Who doesn’t.

Finally, it was time to order.  I went with the pizza.  The menu said I could pick four toppings, so I chose half portions of eight toppings.  There were only seven to choose from, though, so I made one up.  “…and blorgaspork.”

"Sorry?  What is blorgaspork?"

"That’s your job to know, now isn’t it."

After a reasonable wait, my food arrived.  It was a really good meal, not exactly overpriced, but not exactly underpriced either.  It was just priced.

My waiter soon arrived and asked me if I wanted dessert. 

"Steve," I said, "Have a seat."

He did.

"I have this business idea.  And while I’m here, and we’re family, I was hoping you could give me a loan."

Steve tried to laugh it off.  Like it was some kind of joke.  I was offended and he could tell.  “Steve, this isn’t a joke.”

Steve looked a bit nervous.  I grabbed his hands and pinned them to the table.  “Are we family or not, Steve.”

"Not in the literal sense…" said Steve.  I wasn’t going to let him reason his way out of this one. 

"Look, Steve.  I cleaned your windows.  Family does that for each other.  They clean each others’ windows.  Now, don’t you think I deserve that loan?  We’re family, Steve, we’re family."

Steve handed me 13 bucks.  “Thanks, Steve.”

★★★

(via anxietee)

Notes
93895
Posted
2 weeks ago

itseasytoremember:

capslockapocalypse:

letmusicsetyoufreee:

frankienathanieljonas:

bubblelumps:

was voldemort a virgin

#did you see him in 5th year? #he wasnt a virgin

Imagine being the chick to do the frick frack with the Dark Lord Voldy. 

TUMBLR DOT COM: WHERE WE CAN DISCUSS HAVING SEX WITH VOLDEMORT BUT WE CAN’T ACTUALLY SAY THE WORD SEX

doing the do with you know who

(via youreworsethannicotine)

Notes
465989
Posted
5 months ago

oh-boobear-my-love:

what-to-wear-if:

o-bsolet-ex3eextortion:

ilovemyskinbeauty:

o-bsolet-ex3eextortion:

“this leaves men confused and unable to pigeonhole you. What they are forced to do instead is… take you seriously.”

Reblog every time

Wow nake me think

Can this get 200 Notes? :s

Whoever wrote this dialogue is a freakin’ genius

ppeerrffffeeccttt

(Source: un-usuall-m3mory-x3, via alyssaaraee)

Notes
1183663
Posted
7 months ago

literallysame:

what if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in spanish

(via thenatureofnayeli)

Notes
187883
Posted
7 months ago

tomtom1996:

You realize the how stupid the concept of the “friendzone” is if you actually have a think about it

(Source: youtube.com, via meow-meow-cow)

Notes
602387
Posted
7 months ago

fishandmuffins:

noxidanamchara:

fernwei:

 

Probably the most important post of 2013.

DEFINITELY the most important post of 2013.

(Source: aaapple-jax, via miss-megative)

Notes
449987
Posted
7 months ago
theconclusionis:

loveexistskeepbreathing:

russiandirectionerandbelieber:

a-cidlife:

vans-supreme:

exhele:

dysphorism:

princess-margaret:

yourblazesburn:

osteogenesis-imperfecta:

straightinatbella:

thatmissunderstoodkid:

frank-1e:

okleave:


reblog and make a wish

this is my second time reblogging and my first wish came true so

i have to


why not

i did this a few days ago and it also came true, i was freaked out like fuck

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

here goes nothing
well lets see 

love this

i remember a few months ago, wishing that my crush would like me back on this post 
and now he’s my bf
..WISHING AGAIN. YAY

you :(

Not going to lie, I made a wish when I reblogged this this morning, and my wish came true an hour ago.


Hopefully this works….

this has worked every time

theconclusionis:

loveexistskeepbreathing:

russiandirectionerandbelieber:

a-cidlife:

vans-supreme:

exhele:

dysphorism:

princess-margaret:

yourblazesburn:

osteogenesis-imperfecta:

straightinatbella:

thatmissunderstoodkid:

frank-1e:

okleave:

reblog and make a wish

this is my second time reblogging and my first wish came true so

i have to

why not

i did this a few days ago and it also came true, i was freaked out like fuck

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

here goes nothing

well lets see 

love this

i remember a few months ago, wishing that my crush would like me back on this post 

and now he’s my bf

..WISHING AGAIN. YAY

you :(

Not going to lie, I made a wish when I reblogged this this morning, and my wish came true an hour ago.

Hopefully this works….

this has worked every time

(Source: nasa.gov, via amberryley)

Notes
2324535
Posted
8 months ago